The Art of Invitation

July 10, 2025

As you may have gathered, I am an enthusiastic person, so if I'm doing something, I tend to go all-out. But I also try to respect my limits. That’s why, when I’m at a ball game and hear the opening notes of the national anthem or Sweet Caroline or Take Me Out to the Ball Game, I practice what I call “enthusiastic listening” rather than singing along.

Last week was different, though. During the 7th-inning stretch at Saturday's Red Wings game, the second trumpeter from the RPO, Wesley Nance, stepped up to perform God Bless America. The melody was flawless, reverent… and the crowd was spellbound. As he reached “through the night with a light from above,” he slowly lifted his left hand and wiggled his fingers beckoningly toward the stands. So everyone started singing, and even I couldn’t help myself. As we reached “to the prairies,” the trumpet began weaving gorgeous harmonies and cadences around the melody. Suddenly, we weren’t just spectators—we were creating something beautiful together. Even my friend Mindy, standing next to me, probably forgave me for singing along… though I know better than to ask.

Later, I thought about how often we’re exhorted from a stage with a scolding “I can’t HEAR you!” That’s a demand, and I, for one, hate it. Maybe it’s the rebellious kid in me, but the moment someone tries to force me into participating—even in something I want to do—I shut down. In contrast, our trumpeter didn’t order his audience to sing; he opened a space for it, and we stepped in.

It’s the same with kids. When we gently beckon them toward the good—toward kindness, cooperation, light—they respond far more readily than when we dictate or demand. If they see themselves as part of the art of creating a harmonious family life rather than as begrudging participants in it, it changes everything.

An enticing finger wiggle beats an accusing point every time.

—Deb

P.S. Updated 7/11/25 to add video... thanks, RPO and Red Wings!